Build my church 40-day devotional
Day 9
Tuesday, September 17
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“I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 11:19
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It was the winter of my senior year at SAU, I was dreaming about my next adventure: medical school. In six months I would be moving to Detroit, into my own apartment and driving my own car. I would be my first time to live outside of Spring Arbor. This community, church and university had raised and influenced me. But now, I was anticipating a new freedom and autonomy.
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It was in this place that I felt the voice of God. “Follow me and it will go well for you.” I paused. Really? This is MY moment. MY chance. MY future. I felt God’s voice even stronger. “You can choose the hard way (yours) or the easy way (follow me).” And I can remember so clearly my resolve, “No, God. Not this time. It’s my choice. I choose the hard way.” If this was biblical I think it would add, “and she hardened her heart.”
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That next year was the most difficult of my life. I put my trust in all the wrong things, all while still being a Christian. I experienced great heartbreak, despair and loneliness as I tried to live for God and myself. My divided heart knew no joy or peace.
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But God was always close, ready to help me if I would only choose him.
I did finally surrender. And God gave me a new heart, a new spirit, and Philippians 2:13 to remind me that He gives me the will and the way to obey.
For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.
But I must give him me.
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Janette Miller
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